Back in episode 59, I shared my plan for surviving the summer holidays as a self-employed parent, what I would keep going, what I would let go of and where I hoped to find some balance. Now, in the final week of the holidays, it felt like the right time to check in and be honest about how that plan actually held up against six weeks of real life.
This episode is an audibly fatigued debrief. What I stuck to, which boundaries I broke almost immediately, the surprising wins and the ongoing tension between wanting to be fully present with my kids during the day and finding myself back on my laptop once they are asleep. It is also a question I am still sitting with myself: when you run your own business around your children, when is enough actually enough?
Key Reflections:
- An honest recap of the summer holiday plan from episode 59 and how it played out, including the interview-free zone that lasted all of about five minutes before four interviews happened anyway
- What it was like recording solo episodes from a dark beach after bedtime or in a sweltering van, and why stripping everything back to just a microphone and a phone was more liberating than expected
- The re-recording of the Print Over Pixels course modules that did not happen this summer, and why some jobs genuinely need two uninterrupted days that simply do not exist in the school holidays
- The unexpected win of Meta ads performing brilliantly all summer, bringing a consistent stream of photographers into the world of the course without much active attention
- The last minute maternity shoot that broke the no bookings rule and why it was completely worth bending it for
- The psychological rollercoaster of trying to post from energy rather than obligation on social media, including the guilt that creeps in after a few quiet days and the temptation to post just to prove you are still there
- Three consecutive nights of eight to nine hours sleep in the van in Pembrokeshire and what that unexpected win revealed about how much rest her body actually needs
- Why burning the midnight oil is sometimes necessary and even welcome, especially when work feels like the first moment of the day that nobody needs anything from you, but why the hope is not to still be doing this in five or ten years
- The honest, open question for listeners: is working late at night a regular part of your routine, or is sleep something you protect fiercely, and where is your own line between enough and too much
Listen If You’re:
- Curious how a real plan for surviving the summer holidays as a business owner actually held up against reality
- Someone who regularly finds yourself working after the kids are in bed and wondering whether that is sustainable
- Feeling the guilt of quiet social media days and the pull to post just to prove you are still around
- Trying to figure out where your own line is between necessary hustle and protecting your wellbeing
- A parent who has ever felt both proud of an unplanned early night and guilty about the work that did not get done as a result
Favourite Takeaway for Mums in Business:
“As women, as mothers and as business owners, we cannot do everything, nor should we expect ourselves to. Some seasons call for burning the midnight oil. But it is worth asking yourself – again and again – where your own line between enough and too much actually sits.”
About the Host:
I’m Victoria Phipps – a Mum of two, analogue family photographer, charity co-founder, photography business educator, marketer and now podcaster! My career has wandered all over the place and is becoming a bit of a complex tapestry as I head into this middle phase of life, but I can honestly say I’ve loved every minute of it so far.
I was raised by a nurturing Mother and an entrepreneurial Father and have inherited traits from both, so the tension between ambition and motherhood is one I grapple with on a daily basis! I’m fascinated to hear the stories of other women on a similar path, who are striving to build thriving businesses whilst being present for their children. It’s a tough juggle, but I hope the conversations shared on this podcast help Mums in business feel less alone and inspired to keep going in pursuit of their dreams!
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Episode Transcript:
NOTE: This is the transcript from the original recording, rather than the edited episode so timings may vary.
Hello and welcome to this solo episode of the Mum Means Business podcast. As I record this, the time is 11.54 and some seconds. Basically it’s late and I’m working. I’ve been answering podcast pitches, working on some content and gathering my thoughts for this monologue.
This is a reality for a lot of self-employed parents over the summer holidays, because as we all know, the maths doesn’t math and there simply are not enough hours in the day to do all the things we need to do as parents and business owners, especially if you identify as a freelancer or solopreneur.
If you’re anything like me, you want to do all the fun things with your kids during the day and make the most of this time with them. But you also need, and perhaps even want, to work. Perhaps like me you’re greedy like that. So you work late or you get up before the dawn chorus and you sacrifice your sleep, because that feels like the bit that can give, and you can get by on five or six hours, right?
For the most part I’m pretty good on little sleep day to day, but I do worry about the long term consequences, and I don’t think it’s a healthy or sensible thing to be doing. Yet here I am, trying desperately hard not to let my impatience negatively impact my presence, but arguably sacrificing my own wellbeing to a certain extent in the process.
A few weeks back in episode 59, I talked about sliding into my first summer holiday as a parent rather than a pupil, and I really had very little idea what to expect. I knew from all the chat I’d seen and heard in the online world of founders that it was something to prepare for, and the preparation in itself felt overwhelming, because it’s not like you have any additional time in May or June to get ahead and do all of your work for July and August as well. In fact it feels like those months are pretty heavy with school demands, sports days and PTA stuff, countless non-uniform days to remember to pay for and so on.
So as I said in that episode, I had done very little to prepare and I shared my plan of action, the aspects of my work that were going to continue over the summer and the things I was going to let go of. I thought now, in this final week of the holidays, would be a good time to reflect on the plan versus the reality. So here we go.
I said I would ring fence the summer holidays as an interview free zone, but I think I’d already broken this rule by the time I came to record episode 59. And the truth is I ended up recording four interviews over the summer. I recorded with two Mum Means Business guests and was interviewed by two other podcasters on their podcasts, mostly about all things photography, film and print, which was obviously right up my street.
I said the podcast would continue to be released weekly as it always had, and that I’d keep on recording these solo episodes I started sharing back in June, and I have managed to do this. It was interesting recording on holiday, alongside a dark beach after bedtime, which sounds dodgy and actually felt a bit dodgy too at the time, or in the sweltering heat of the van as the kids grabbed a last swim in the campsite pool before we moved on to our next destination. Getting away from all the equipment, simply plugging my Yeti microphone into my phone and chatting, was actually liberating in some ways and I found it quite fun.
I said I would check in with the ladies inside my Print Over Pixels community, and yes, we did have our monthly coaching calls, which were really energising and positive as they always are. I said I would re-record the video training for each module of the course itself, and I am yet to do that, because it’s the sort of big job that you feel like you need to devote a couple of full uninterrupted days to. And let’s face it, one full day is a dream in the summer holidays, let alone two. I do have some time blocked out to get started on this next week ahead of the course launch, so we will see.
I planned to continue weekly emails to my list and keep an eye on my Meta ads. I can report that whilst the emails may not have gone out at precisely the usual day or time, they have been sent every week, and actually my Meta ads have been amazing this summer, with a consistent stream of photographers signing up to find out more about the course. So that is a big win.
I hadn’t scheduled any photography sessions for the entire six weeks, but the day before we were due to set off for France in the van, I had a last minute inquiry for an outdoor maternity shoot, and I knew the light that evening would be beautiful. We were madly packing at this point and I did not have time to do it, but I made time, and I’m so glad I did, because the couple were lovely and so excited to meet their first baby, and it was a real privilege to capture that moment for them. Then they invited me back and I got to photograph their adorable baby girl a few weeks later, which was gorgeous, and they were totally worth bending that rule for.
Then the social media. I had planned to use the summer as an opportunity to really try and tune in with my energy rather than kill myself to post daily whether I have anything to say or not. And tune in with my energy I did, to the extent that tumbleweed would creep in for days at a time as I enjoyed being in the real world. It was actually quite an interesting psychological process to observe, because then came the guilt, and that thought, you know, I haven’t posted for a few days, I really need to put something out there. Perhaps you’ve had that thought too. And then the temptation to just throw something out to prove you’re alive and well. And we’re back to square one, quantity over quality.
Having this long term relationship with consistency when it comes to Instagram specifically, it took a lot to just let the tumbleweed be. Sometimes I was able to, and sometimes I caved and posted something. If I’m honest though, I really didn’t have the bandwidth for it. I had enough going on, and all the while I was also trying my best to keep on top of the marketing work I do for my dad’s business, including a website launch that was supposed to happen before the summer holidays but for various reasons was delayed until smack bang in the middle of them.
It sounds obvious, but sometimes I feel like it needs saying. As women, as mothers and as business owners, we cannot do everything, nor should we expect ourselves to.
This weekend we were down in Pembrokeshire in the van, visiting friends, and I was so proud of myself because that thought popped up again every evening as we were settling the girls to sleep, I really need to put something out there. But instead of opening my laptop at 10pm and starting a brand new shift at the end of a very full day of parenting, I went to sleep at the same time as whichever daughter I had next to me that night. It’s very much a divide and conquer situation in the van, and I clocked up three consecutive nights of eight to nine hours sleep, which is unheard of, and it went to prove that maybe my body does need more sleep than I give it.
So calling it in the evening, when is enough enough? Firstly, I really want to normalise burning the midnight oil when you’re building your business. It happens, especially in the early days or if you’ve pivoted into something new, especially when your time is limited during the day by your role as a parent, and especially during the summer holidays or any school holidays. I’m doing it right now, because getting this episode out on time matters to me and this is my only window.
I’ll admit there are times when I’m very happy to sit down at my laptop after the kids have gone to bed, because for me work can feel like creative rest. It might be the first moment that nobody is asking anything of me since I first woke up that morning. If work is a form of decompression for you at the end of the day, then I get it. But I also really hope that I’m not still working into the night in five or ten years time. I’m okay with this as I rebuild in perhaps the most time poor season of my life, and I hope to evolve and get to a stage where my business doesn’t need me to be on as much.
And on that note, it’s time for me to switch off. But I would love to know whether you find yourself catching up on emails at 10pm or putting the final touches to a client proposal at midnight. Is it part of your regular routine, or is sleep a priority that you ring fence religiously? Feel free to slide into my DMs on Instagram at @mummeansbusinesspodcast or @victoriaphippsmbe. I always love to hear your thoughts, and I will speak to you soon.