This week’s solo episode is coming to you from a converted VW Crafter in Tours, France – heavily loaded with me, my partner and two small children with all their associated paraphernalia, snacks galore, an expanding laundry bag and a portable penguin potty!
Van life has this idyllic reputation, hasn’t it? The footloose digital nomad, laptop open, bikini on, six figure launches via personal hotspot as the sun sets behind the screen! This episode is not that. This is the reality of van life as a mum of two on her way to being middle aged, who has not yet figured out how to do a four figure launch from her own home, let alone from a converted campervan in a French heatwave.
In this episode I share the backstory of how our van came to be, what life on the road actually looks like with little people in tow and why, despite all of it, I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.
Key Reflections:
- The backstory of the van, from secondhand shell bought on a loan in September 2024 to a 95% finished camper that has cost significantly more than we ever anticipated and means we must now holiday in it forever to justify the expenditure
- Why the reality of van life with small children looks nothing like the digital nomad fantasy, from a swollen knee on day two and abandoned makeup by day three to a routine that shifted three hours in either direction because of the heat
- Why working on the road as a solopreneur is considerably harder than imagined, with campsite wi-fi that is reliably hopeless, personal hotspot that drops at the worst moments and an audience of two in the back seats with a constant stream of demands
- The unglamorous reality of being primary caregiver, chief navigator, planner, referee and cook whilst also trying to keep a business ticking over, and the moments when you realise none of your own basic needs have been met since you got in the van that morning
- Why the chaos is absolutely worth it, the memories being made, the rituals slowly bedding in and the joy of seeing it all through the eyes of two small girls who are simply happy that everyone is together
- How the van creates a unique opportunity for genuine reconnection as a family and why the book Hold On To Your Kids by Gordon Neufeld and Gabor Mate has shaped the thinking behind it
- Why curiosity, adventure and showing your children that different people live in different ways is one of the most powerful things you can give them, even if right now it mostly means fresh baguettes from the boulangerie every morning
Listen If You’re:
- Curious about van life or family travel and wondering what it actually looks like beyond the Instagram version
- A mum who has ever romanticised the idea of working while travelling and needs a dose of honest reality
- Someone who is trying to keep a business ticking over during the school holidays and feeling the weight of doing it all
- A parent who values adventure, connection and making memories over comfort and convenience
- Feeling guilty about the moments when your business takes your attention away from your children and needing a reminder that being together, even imperfectly, is what counts
Favourite Takeaway for Mums in Business:
When you run your own business, if you stop, the business stops. But sometimes stopping is exactly what you and your family need. The content can fall off a cliff for a week. The emails can wait. The memories you are making right now cannot be recreated.
About the Host:
I’m Victoria Phipps – a Mum of two, analogue family photographer, charity co-founder, photography business educator, marketer and now podcaster! My career has wandered all over the place and is becoming a bit of a complex tapestry as I head into this middle phase of life, but I can honestly say I’ve loved every minute of it so far.
I was raised by a nurturing Mother and an entrepreneurial Father and have inherited traits from both, so the tension between ambition and motherhood is one I grapple with on a daily basis! I’m fascinated to hear the stories of other women on a similar path, who are striving to build thriving businesses whilst being present for their children. It’s a tough juggle, but I hope the conversations shared on this podcast help Mums in business feel less alone and inspired to keep going in pursuit of their dreams!
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Episode Transcript:
NOTE: This is the transcript from the original recording, rather than the edited episode so timings may vary.
Hello and welcome to this solo episode of the Mum Means Business podcast. I have a growing list of ideas for solo podcast episodes on the Notes app on my phone, but none of them seem to make sense right now as I’m touring around Northern France in a heatwave with my partner and two little girls in a VW Crafter absolutely bursting with stuff.
Van life isn’t exactly one of my content pillars, but it’s our reality right now and everything is a test after all, so I thought why not talk about it? Because there is this idyllic notion of the digital nomad. The footloose and fancy free entrepreneur travelling the world in a converted van with nothing but a laptop and a bikini. It sounds so dreamy, doesn’t it? When you’re up to your eyeballs in responsibility, struggling to make your business work within the constraints of motherhood, drowning in housework, personal admin, ever-evolving childcare arrangements and the emotional labour of parenthood, all the while trying to be a good partner, daughter and friend.
I can’t speak to that whimsical figure of the carefree 27 year old hopping from coast to coast, negotiating content deals or doing six figure launches via personal hotspot as the sun sets behind their computer screen, because I’m a mum of two, very much on my way to being middle-aged, having not yet figured out how to do a four figure launch from my own home with every bit of kit that you could ask for. My reality could not be more different to that imaginary 27 year old.
However, when my partner suggested converting a van, I was 100% on board. Having gone through two baby hoods, I didn’t expect it would be glamorous but I thought it might be an adventure. And it has been.
To give you a bit of backstory, we took out a loan to buy a secondhand van back in September 2024. It had been used by the tradies, as Shirley Heeler would call them, and the back was essentially a shell. My partner was the self-appointed project manager and over time we planned to convert it into a camper. We knew it needed to sleep four, so the first thing we did was find a company to install a pop-up roof. Then little by little he worked through the electrics, the insulation, the flooring, the car seats and the general fit-out, beds, kitchenette, cupboards and storage. It’s probably around 95% of the way there now and we reckon in total the whole thing has set us back around 50k. And no, we definitely did not expect it to be that much. We are not budgeters, obviously. So now we have to holiday exclusively in the van forever and ever, amen, in order to have a hope in hell of justifying that expenditure.
So here we are, currently in Tours about 10 days into this particular adventure and I can categorically confirm it has been as unglamorous as I expected it to be. It took us two full days to pack, during which time my partner and I stayed in our lanes and barely spoke. My left knee swelled on day two. To be clear, I’ve had an arthritic knee since I was eight, so this happens, but still, the timing. I gave up wearing makeup on day three. I spend as much time repatriating things, cleaning, washing, tidying and cooking as I do at home, even though it feels like we’re living in 5% of the space. I’m in demand from the moment the kids wake up until the moment they conk out.
Because it’s so hot, our routine quickly shifted by around three hours. We’re now sleeping in before the van gets too hot and the kids are coming to life in the evening when the temperature cools down. So instead of 7am to 8.30pm, they’re awake from 9.30 to 11.30 or midnight, which doesn’t leave much time for grown-ups to decompress. I had this image in my mind of Chris and I sitting outside in the evening with a cold glass of something or other or settling in to watch some nonsense on the TV. Yes, we have a TV that was non-negotiable for him, but that hasn’t happened once. By the end of each day we are absolutely beyond exhausted and going to sleep with the kids.
And then there’s work, because when you’re a solopreneur, if you stop, the business stops. I imagined I might work some evenings, but for all the reasons I’ve just outlined, that hasn’t happened. I imagined I might work on longer journeys and that has happened to a certain extent, but the opportunity hasn’t been as abundant as I hoped with the girls piping up with one demand or another from the back seats. Chris doesn’t trust me to drive the van. I think I’m a good driver but he thinks I’m a lazy one and sometimes he has a point. So I am very much the primary caregiver slash referee on these journeys.
I’m also chief planner and navigator, charged with researching stops and working out meals. I actually love this because I challenge myself to find interesting places to go off-piste and break up the journey. We try not to drive more than two hours at a time as it gets too much for the girls, and obviously we could just stop at services, but it just seems like a missed opportunity given that we have everything we need on board to self-cater a meal.
The other day we were driving from Concarneau in Brittany, where we’d spent a week with really good friends, to Tours, and en route I took us on a tour of the Brière National Park to break it up. We went to a tiny restored medieval village called Kérinat, I think, which the girls accepted as Belle’s hometown. Chris did himself a fry-up and I knocked up a sandwich for the girls and then we went on to Port de la Chaussée Neuve, which overlooks the wetlands, which ironically, given the drought, were not that wet, for an ice cream. I love that the van gives us freedom to run our own show.
But in short, there has been very little time to work and relying entirely on personal hotspot has made it impossible at times. My content has fallen off a cliff and my emails have gone unanswered. And isn’t that the whole point of a holiday?
The truth is van life with little people means no let up, no rest whatsoever, and there are times when I stop and realise that none of my basic needs are being met. I’ve needed a wee for three hours while the girls have had to use the potty. Yes, the little portable penguin potty has been revived and is in regular use. I told you it’s not glamorous. Everyone has eaten except me and my water bottle hasn’t been touched since I filled it and put it in the van door that morning.
For now it is much like being at home, but it’s incredible. We are banking so many memories with our girls. And as a photographer, I’m obviously determined to capture as much of it as possible for them. We’re slowly bedding in rituals like finding different towns to eat fish and chips in on the first and last nights of each trip. We’re working harder to live and they’re joining in. Washing up is now a family outing to the sink block. We’re out of our comfort zone, exploring new places and seeing it all through their eyes. We’re showing them that travel matters, that curiosity matters, that different people live in different ways. And I know for now it might be as simple as these people speak French and they visit the boulangerie every morning to buy fresh baguettes and croissants for breakfast. But as they get older, I can see we’ll be able to travel further and further afield.
What’s lovely is that they are simply happy we’re all together 24-7. They have our full attention and even when it’s 35 degrees and everyone is seriously losing the will to live, we’re all losing the will to live together. I think whatever stage of childhood they’re at, this van will be a go-to for reconnection.
If you’ve read Hold On To Your Kids by Gordon Neufeld and Gabor Mate, you’ll perhaps get what I mean. I’ll put a link to the book in the show notes if you haven’t read it. They argue that natural attachment between a parent and child is being disrupted by peer orientation and that regular reconnection is an antidote. I can’t think of a better way to genuinely reconnect than to pick a spot on a map, drive away from day-to-day life and just be together there.
I’m not saying go and drop 50k on a van. It’s not for everyone and I get why. But if you ask me whether it was worth it just two years in, it’s a no-brainer. And if you’re van curious, then I promise there’ll be some van content landing when I get home.
But for now it can wait as I have a big croissant waiting for me and we need to get packed up and onto the next stage of our French adventure. So I will say au revoir and I will speak to you soon.