Episode 77: Treat Every Fail Like a Contraction; Building Resilience in Business

NOTE: This is the transcript from the original recording, rather than the edited episode so timings may vary.

Victoria (00:01)
Hello and welcome to this solo episode of the Mum Means Business podcast. I have just got off a call with the ladies inside my pop community and we had such a good heart to heart about what it takes to face disappointment in our businesses and that resilience muscle that every sole trader, freelancer, founder, entrepreneur has to build on their way towards their goals.

In case you don’t know, POP stands for Print Over Pixels and this is the course I launched back in January teaching family, maternity and newborn photographers how to lead with print in the digital age. The ladies inside are mums at different stages of their businesses and whilst it’s a monthly coaching call designed for me to help them implement what they’ve learned inside the course, we’re all able to bring a variety of experience to the table to support each other through the bumps in the road that are inevitable in this roller coaster ride of business building.

I suspect we can all relate to that feeling when you have an idea for an offer, an Instagram post, a marketing campaign, a launch or a pitch, and you feel really good about it. If you dare to let yourself dream, you think this might just be a winner. It might be the real that cracks the algorithm.

It might be the offer that sells out in 24 hours, or it might be the marketing campaign that sees you landing your message at long last and attracting the clients of your dreams in droves. So you put in the work, you plan, you research, you lay the foundations, you put yourself out there and do the thing, and you hear crickets.

If you’re here listening to this podcast, I can imagine that you can recall a moment when you have felt that sink of disappointment, that the response to the thing you tried didn’t quite live up to your hopeful expectations. I can recall so many, so many, like the time I was deep in the fog of Matresson’s, not knowing what to do with my wedding photography business and desperately craving a creative outlet.

I went through my archives full of travel photographs from what seemed at the time like a different life entirely as I was in the thick of feed, wind, nap, change, repeat.

and I designed a collection of travel prints inspired by those vintage railway or airline travel posters of old. I created an entire brand around them called Big Wide World Prints, built an Etsy shop and put them all up for sale. I thought they were really nice. In fact, I still have one on my wall and actually I sold one in the first week.

I was obviously elated and could see the road to passive income just unraveling before me. I got a bit overexcited and bulk bought a ton of mailing tubes and some branded stickers. So I was ready for all the orders that were about to flood in. I actually got another order a week or so later when I was down in Pembrokeshire for my best friend’s wedding and managed to get my printer to mail the poster down to me from Manchester.

It arrived just in time before I was actually about to drive home. And I had brought a couple of tubes and stickers down with me because I was obviously going to be inundated with all these orders and I didn’t want any of my customers to wait a moment longer than they had to. So I was able to turn it around and dispatch it to my customer in Germany. Despite my sharing the poster designs with Etsy links across all my socials, what felt like constantly, and opening a separate shop on my own website. That was the last order I ever received. So after two years, two orders and what felt like 200 hours of YouTube tutorials, that’s really hard to say, on how to make your Etsy shop a wild success, I made the call to close it. There was also the time that I launched a maternity photography project to raise money for the Wirral Women and Children’s Aid charity local to me. I got in touch with the charity and told them I’d like to reduce my standard session fee.

and donate that sum from every maternity session I did during the month of March. They were delighted and they agreed to help publicize the offer.

They were delighted and agreed to help publicise the offer. I had an article about it published in the local newspaper and I threw it all over social media telling the story of the charity and asking people to share so that Mums2B could have their portrait taken whilst also supporting Mums in Need. I had one Mums2B sign up and we had a really gorgeous session so I decided to extend it to the whole of that year.

I pitched the idea to regional lifestyle magazines to see if they’d be interested in doing a piece on it, but they didn’t take it up. So despite my best efforts, by the end of the year, I had had a grand total of two ladies take up the offer and was only able to donate £199 to the charity. It was obviously better than nothing and I was pleased to be able to do it, but I had hoped to be able to give more. I can’t tell you how many setbacks we had.

whilst raising money for the D-Day 75 garden. It felt like we had at least 20 no’s for every yes. And if you haven’t listened to the story of the time we had to raise 450,000 pounds in nine months, go back to episode 65. and there was the time I volunteered to shoot a full weekend of back-to-back toddler and preschool parties. Edit every photograph.

identify each child and deliver the images for free to the parents in exchange for their email addresses. It seemed a solid marketing strategy, right? Grow my email list and attract new folks.

grow my email list and attract new family photography clients in the area. But to cut a long story short, I spent a full weekend away from my own toddlers to photograph other peoples for free, spent five evenings working through over thousand images, delivered them to each family individually, collected around 150 email addresses, around 30 of which unsubscribed as soon as they had their free photo.

And I haven’t as yet, as far as I know, booked a single session from it. All there was a time when I started a Facebook group called Paparazzi Parents and designed weekly photo recipes with beautiful branded PDFs to help parents take better photos of their kids in the hope I could build an online community that would lead to client work or some sort of online education to help parents record their own family stories.

14 weeks in, I had around 20 people in there, none of whom seemed to be able to find the time to actually take the photos, which I get, and I called it a day. The group still exists and the recipes are pretty good, so if I don’t mind saying so myself. So by all means, go and take them if you’re interested. Then there’s the time I had 50.

Then there’s the time I had 500 mini booklets printed on lovely thick paper showcasing my family portraits and I hand delivered them door to door all around my local area over the course of a week in January to try to drum up some business in the spring. And I don’t think I had a single bite. God, there are so many things that I’ve tried that haven’t worked. And that is my point. There have been countless times over really recent years when I have had really high hopes for something and it just hasn’t worked out like that. And it can be so deflating.

and it just hasn’t worked out. And it can be so deflating. And let’s not forget embarrassing. I tried and failed at all these things in public. I put my idea out into the world and then retracted it again with my tail between my legs. But I firmly believe that if you can treat every one of these experiences as data, then nothing is lost in the trying.

Resilience is a muscle we have to build if we’re going to walk this path. And don’t get me wrong, the path isn’t for everyone. So many people hit that bump in the road and give up. They might say, I tried that, but it didn’t work or tell themselves very fixed stories about what is and isn’t the case. And I have done this. The market is too saturated. Nobody wants what I’m offering. The economy is no good. The algorithm is just working against me.

this won’t work in my area, people don’t want to pay for this, et cetera. And they begin to believe those stories are true.

I think worst of all is when people face this disappointment and turn on themselves. I don’t have what it takes. I’m not cut out for this. I’m not experienced enough, clever enough, talented enough. We can beat ourselves with a stick and give ourselves no option but to retreat. Of course, there are also times when people simply realize the roller coaster is not for them.

and they don’t want the stress and uncertainty of fluctuating income each month. And that’s fair enough. Having grown up in a self-employed household, our childhood was characterized by highs and lows, winds, and seasons of belt tightening. There’s no doubting the appeal of a steady, predictable income, especially when you have small children dependent on you. But if you can feel the disappointment, sit in it for a while.

and then find a way to pick yourself back up again. If you can hear those stories in your mind, detach yourself and reject them.

If you can, as Rudyard Kipling says in my late grandfather’s favourite poem, meet triumph and disaster.

meet triumph and disaster and treat those two imposters just the same. Then perhaps you can go again, collect the data, learn, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and go again and again and again until you find the messaging that does land, the real that does go viral or the offer that flies and have patience with yourself along the way.

That’s what I’m really trying to work on right now because I have been so impatient with myself throughout this early phase of motherhood and hustling myself into the ground.

because I have been so impatient with myself throughout this early phase of motherhood and hustling yourself into the ground when you have children depending on you is not fair on you or them. In those moments when things aren’t working as you hope they would, please give yourself some grace. Wallow if you need to, eat lots of dark chocolate and check out episode 64 with Ella McKay for chocolate inspiration if you need some. And then think about what you can learn from the experience, process that data, feel that resilience muscle building and keep the faith that if you keep showing up for your business in your own way, then over time you are bound to make progress. I honestly feel like all the knocks that I’ve described and all the ones I haven’t have improved my bounce back rates so much over recent years.

So rather than sinking into a deep decline and wanting to put my whole business in the bin, which I have experienced, I can now pick myself up with the help of a large chunk of fatso chocolate and perhaps a cuddle with a big oak tree. And that is a random note to end on, but there you go. I’m very happy to share my business fails and gos-

I’m very happy to share my business fails and God knows there are lots of them. But looking back, I do feel like each one has taught me something and moved me forward in one way or another. I remember when I went into labor for the first time with my eldest, my mom told me to keep in mind that every contraction moved me closer to the moment I would meet my baby. And as painful as it might have been, once each one was done, I’d never have to do that one again. I guess perhaps I could look at these fails like contractions. They’re painful in the moment, but once each one is over, you’ll never have to go through it again, and you are one step closer towards your goal. On that note, hoping I haven’t triggered any labor-related PTSD for you, I will sign off. I hope this finds you at a moment when you need it.

And if you have someone in your life who might appreciate hearing all the daft things another mom has done to try and grow her business whilst raising her kids, then feel free to share this episode with them. Or if you feel like sharing some of the business moves that you’ve made that you really hoped would move the needle, but didn’t, you know, just to close the vulnerability gap between us, then feel free to come and find me on Instagram @mummeansbusinesspodcast or @victoriaphippsmbe.

I’ll be back next Friday as usual with another solo episode. Speak to you soon.